There are definitely paid features on some dating apps that are worth the price, but I've yet to be able to justify shelling out cash for love. See at Match 13 of 13 James Martin/CNET. Dating apps and sites run the gamut from free to paid, and many offer free versions but charge a fee for all the bells and whistles. Since the pandemic began, many of these apps have added enhanced communication options, including video chat, designed to address the fact that it's hard to meet in person. The League – Best High End Dating App Overall. If you’re truly on a search for the highest quality singles at the highest end dating app on the market, the trophy easily goes to The League. The site is designed with high-end people in mind, even though the price tag for a membership is actually a lot more affordable than you might expect. To pay or not to pay: That is the question. For every dating site or app that charges close to $40 per month, such as Match, eHarmony, or JDate, there are plenty of other popular ones like OkCupid.
If you’re like me, you couldn’t imagine dating without some sort of digital assistance. Dating apps are everything when it comes to modern courtship. The only problem is that the people who make the apps realized how necessary dating apps are. And now like there are a million different cars or running shoes or other necessities, there are a million different dating apps to choose from.
So, how do you know which dating app to choose? What app is actually going to help you out? Which app is going to not going to be a total waste of time? Which one is going to actually be worth it if you decide to throw some money at your dating endeavors?
You’re in luck, dear reader. Because I’ve tried them all. Well, all the ones that aren’t blatant scams anyway. I’ve come up with a top 5 list. And no, they’re not ranked from one to ten. That would be useless and trite. I did, however, give you the top 5 apps for distinctly different kinds of dating.
There are different types of dating! I’m sure you’ve noticed! So, here are the top 5 best apps for if you’re looking for love, a one night stand, or something in between:
Best for Hookups: Tinder
I bet you’re surprised by this one! And honestly, I’m sorry that my top app for hookups couldn’t have been something out of the blue. But Tinder has proven that they’re the undisputed champ time and time again.
When it comes down to it, you’re looking for something fast and fun. You’re looking for someone that you can meet up with at a bar or a party or have over for a night of Netflix and Chillin’.
You’re not looking to sort through anyone via the grid, and you’re not interested in putting forth too much effort for someone you’re not going to put an emotional effort into. I do hope that you put forth some work in bed though…
Plus, the word Tinder has become synonymous with dating apps. Everyone has a Tinder or has signed up at some point in their lives. Tinder in a lot of ways is like pooping; everybody does it. And if they say they don’t, they’re lying.
With the ease at which you can swipe through people and how large their user base is, Tinder is obviously the go-to when it comes to looking for hookups.
Honorable Mention: Pure
Okay, while I maintain that Tinder is the undisputed king for finding online hookups, there is another app out there that I like for second place: Pure.
Pure is run by people in Europe and has a distinctly Euro/New York City feel to the art direction, but it’s one of the most NSA sex apps that I’ve found.
Basically, all you do is sign up (you have to pay to use the app if you’re a guy), add a photo, and then your profile will be live for an hour. All that person will see is your photo and your general location. From there you can mark that you’re interested and if it’s mutual a chat box will open. You have the rest of your hour to make conversation and arrange a meeting. After that hour your request will end (or you can end it yourself on the last page in the app), and all of your match and message history will be automatically deleted.
I’d say that this app is purely focused on hookups. However, they have too small of a user base to beat out Tinder for the number one spot.
Great for casual/hands-off dating: Hinge
I usually find that there is something between hooking up and looking for a serious relationship. And I find that most young adults usually find themselves existing in this liminal dating space: casual dating.
I think most people are casually dating. Unless you’re looking to start a second or third marriage, I’d say that you’re probably casually dating or at least passively dating. There does come a time where you want to really look for a partner, you know? But today might not be that day for you, and if it isn’t then, I’d recommend Hinge.
What I like about Hinge the most is how they have you structure your dating profile. Instead of letting you go wild with emojis and 1000 characters of space, you’re asked to answer three of a large selection of questions. These questions help you reveal things about yourself that maybe wouldn’t otherwise be revealed if you were left to just ramble on about your personality.
So, on top of basic things like your age, location, height, and if you smoke or drink or have kids, you have these three questions and some photos of yourself. I find that this app is one of the easier ones to start a conversation on.
Hinge is my favorite dating app and I actively use it myself.
Best for serious dating: OK Cupid
If it were that day for me where I’d decided that I needed to get serious about searching for a partner, this would be the app for me: OK Cupid.
While a lot of people would argue with me that OK Cupid is outdated (since it’s been around FOREVER), I think that of the dating OG’s they’ve done the best job with staying current.
For one, I love their new ad campaign. The app has seemed to try to redefine DTF so that the “F” stands for fun date ideas instead of… well, you know… FUCK.
But on top of that, they have you answer questions about important things (your views on political matters, religion, ethics, etc.), then they have you rank how important those answers are to you, from where they work that into their algorithm to show you, people, that you match with percentage wise.
This is great for people who want to get serious about their dating endeavors. It also helps if you’re a total numbers person. I think that this site is great for someone looking for a husband or long-term partner.
Most value for a paid subscription: Meet Mindful
If you’re someone who’s looking for another person to share your mindful lifestyle, then I suggest that you join this dating site. This site isn’t free, however, if you find that you need to date someone who’s open to your lifestyle choices – or perhaps shares them – then this is definitely the site for you.
If you’re someone who’s committed to self-development, environmentalism, veganism, or another lifestyle that pushes you to care about those around you, you might find that there’s a lack of people like that on other dating apps. Let’s be real, Tinder and Bumble are over saturated with dude-bros and total chads… so what app do you use if you’re less of a frat boy and more of a yoga master? Well, this one.
This app will run you anywhere from $30 to 9 dollars a month depending on how much of a commitment you want to make to the site. However, I think that this site definitely provides the most bang for your buck.
Best for the Swipe-fatigued: Happn
I don’t know about you, but I personally hate swiping. After using Tinder and Bumble for so long, I’m just over that motion. My thumb cramps and quite frankly I just can’t do it anymore!
So, if you’re like me and you’re totally tired of swiping, then you might want to check out Happn. While this app works best if you live in and frequent highly populated areas, I think that the concept is something new and fresh in the grand scheme of things.
Instead of being matched with people that you’re near, you match with people you cross paths with throughout the day. So, if you go to the coffee shop and so happened to miss the super-hot girl at the front of the line, you might be able to have a conversation if you match on the app!
It shows you people that you’ve crossed paths with throughout your day, and from there you can choose to match with them or ignore them. From there, if the match is mutual, you’ll be able to chat with that person!
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With so many dating apps out there, it can be really difficult to choose which one is best. As a dating coach, I will often take on a client only to find that they have been dating on an outdated site or app for years. No wonder they aren’t getting any results! Dating apps are tools and in order to be the most effective, you need to be using the right one. Here is my recommended list for the best dating apps for relationships.
7 Best Online Dating Apps For Serious Relationships
#7 – OkCupid
Summary Of OkCupid:
OkCupid is best for users under the age of 35. It attracts this age group because of its progressive outlook on dating. For example, they offer the ability to select among multiple different genders as well as sexual orientations. Another reason it attracts a younger crowd is that you can use all it’s features 100% for free.
OkCupid is more of a traditional platform in the sense that you don’t swipe for matches, which limits your viewing to only one at a time. Instead, you can run a search using your filters (like height, religion, etc.) and see all the men that meet your criteria at once. This can really speed up the process filtering process.
How To Use OkCupid For Serious Relationships:
Better Filtering and Screening:
OkCupid is one of the best dating apps for relationships because it allows access to longer profiles. This gives you more information on potential matches without having to small talk text them as much, like you would on Bumble or Tinder. Since OKCupid also allows you to search for all matches at once, you can easily filter and message the men you are interested in the most.
May Attract More Serious Minded Young People
Many people in the younger age group are tired of swiping. They don’t want to go on dates with people who don’t match up with their lifestyles. This means that people who are tired of the quick dating scene that is Tinder and Bumble will look for an alternative, more “serious” minded site and likely turn to OKCupid.
If you’re ok with spending some extra time reading longer profiles, OKCupid can make it easier to filter for high-quality matches and increase your chance of finding a real relationship.
An interesting fact about OkCupid is that according to DatingSiteReviews,“In the wedding section of the New York Times, OkCupid is the most mentioned dating app.”
Word of Warning
One thing I will mention here (and this is the same for Match.com) is that you dont’ want to get too caught up in arbitrary filters. Giving people a chance even if they don’t meet your minimum height requirement or don’t eat the same ice cream as you can really boost your chances of meeting a high-quality man. So, don’t go too crazy on the filters!
Related: 10 Most Important Dating Tips for Women
#6 – Match Mobile
Summary Of Match:
Match Mobile is the dating app version of the traditional dating site, match.com. According to statistics, this dating app is best for users aged 24-38 (DatingSiteReviews). But, my personal experience with clients on this site has determined that you should be between 30-60 to get good results. I wouldn’t recommend this app if you’re under the age of 30. Instead, you should try OKCupid (above).
Match has been around for a really long time (since 1995) and some people might think this is a bad thing. I once suggested using this site to one of my clients and she freaked out saying that “no one has been on there since 2004!”
My client was dead wrong.
Millions of people use this dating site and it continues to be one of the most popular dating apps.
How To Use OkCupid For Serious Relationships:
Relationship-Minded Users:
Statistics from DatingSiteReviews show that “91% of Match members have attended college” and that “income and ‘wants kids’ are the most important criteria. This is great news for anyone looking to score a real relationship from a dating app.
Paid Subscription Leads To Higher Barrier of Entry
Match also requires a paid subscription in order to message other members. This is a great way to filter out spam, catfishers and people looking for casual flings. It also means that the average Match subscriber has a little extra money to spare, making them more likely to be financially stable.
Allows You To Search For All Suitable Matches At Once (No Swiping)
Just like OKCupid, Match allows you to search for all suitable matches upfront, and it has much longer profiles than Tinder or Bumble. This means you can do a much better job at filtering out potential matches and you don’t have to spend time swiping! The other great thing about match is that you can run a search for men in your criteria before you pay for a subscription. This allows you to take a look at the available pool of matches before jumping in with a paid subscriptions.
I highly recommend this as one of the best dating apps for relationships if you are within the age group stated above.
#5 – The League
Summary Of The League
The League is an excellent choice for highly educated professionals. As soon as you land on their website, the first thing you’ll read is:
“Are your standards too high? Keep them that way!”
Their whole schtick is that they only accept the best looking, best-educated, and highest quality matches. In order to make sure all their matches are meeting their strict criteria, all members are put on a waitlist to have their profile vetted. If you’re in, great! If not, tough luck because they don’t accept any payments to bypass the waitlist.
I find this app is best for users between the ages of 22 and 35. If you’re older than that, I’d just give it a try for a month to see if it’s worth it.
This app does not allow you to swipe freely like Tinder or Bumble and you cannot search for members openly. You are only given 5 matches a day that are selected by the League’s algorithm.
How To Use The League for Serious Relationships:
Great for Time Saving
The League chooses matches for you based on your criteria. If you’re a busy professional this is a good way to filter for high-quality matches without investing the time yourself.
The only downside of this system is that you have to wait for them to give you your 5 matches per day. If you don’t like any of them, you have to wait until the next day. Although you’re not doing any work to find these matches, it can extend the dating process by weeks or months if you are picky.
Much Higher-Quality Matches
The League is great if you’re highly educated or very successful and looking for a partner who shares the same qualities. The vetting process is not perfect, but it does weed out a lot of the fluff. Since it has a paid subscription model and the vetting process is so strict, it does attract people who are more relationship-minded and not just looking for a fling.
#4 – Facebook Dating
Summary Of Facebook Dating
Facebook Dating is a new addition to Facebook that just launched in 2019. It is still gaining in popularity but I would recommend it for all ages at this point. Especially since it’s free and easy to use if you already have Facebook.
You don’t have to download a new app to use it, you can simply access it via your Facebook app. All you have to do is hit the hamburger (three lines) menu button on your app and select “dating”. Here’s what it looks like:
Then, you will go through the process of creating your profile.
The dating app is completely independent of your Facebook profile. It will not show your dating activity to friends or family on Facebook.
How To Use Facebook Dating For Serious Relationships:
Filters Based On Preferences and Interest
Ok, I know its creepy that Facebook knows so much about us, but if it can get you a real relationship, that’s not so bad, right?
Facebook uses the interests and preferences of each person to send you suggested matches for who they think might be a good fit. Other dating sites like eHarmony and EliteSingles claim to do this as well, but we all know that Facebook has the most accurate representation of who we are as people. So technically their algorithm for finding like-minded matches should be spot on.
Facebook dating is still very new to the dating world so time will tell how effective it is at matching people up. For now all of its features are free so it’s worth a shot.
#3- Coffee Meets Bagel
Summary Of Coffee Meets Bagel
Ever since Tinder took the dating world by storm, many people quickly grew tired of the swiping model. It often lead to casual hookups rather than more serious relationships. Both Hinge and Coffee Meets Bagel are marketed as dating apps for relationships, not hookups. This means they do not rely on the swiping method.
The Coffee Meets Bagel website specifically states:
“It’s the meaningful dating app for people who are sick of swiping.”
This is another app that uses an algorithm to match people based on similar criteria and preferences.
Coffee meets bagel works well for people under 35 who live in more populated cities. For some reason it is also very popular in the Asian community so if you are Asian yourself or looking for an Asian partner, this is the best app to be on.
Best Dating Apps And Sites
How To Use Coffee Meets Bagel for Serious Relationships
Limited Number of Matches
Coffee Meets Bagel limits the amount of people you can like per day. This encourages you to really look at each match individually. You can see if you might have a connection rather than endless swiping to see “just one more.”
Encourages The Dating Process To Move Forward
Coffee meets bagel also has a countdown system that only allows you to chat back and forth on the app for 7 days. After the 7 days are up, the conversation will expire. This encourages people to actually meet up and go on dates rather than creating penpals.
#2 – Bumble
Summary Of Bumble
Now, Bumble is the only one that I have on this list that uses the traditional “endless swiping” method but it still has less of a hookup culture than Tinder. Bumble markets itself as being a place to have deeper connections, while Tinder markets itself for quick hookups.
The profiles on Bumble are short and you must swipe and match people before you can talk to them. Women initiate all conversations by being required to send the first icebreaker.
The reason I put Bumble on here as one of the best dating apps for relationships is because it is so popular. This app is the second most popular app (after Tinder) so the number of options for high-quality matches are endless.
Pretty much anyone that you’ll find on any of the other dating apps I mentioned will have tried Tinder and then also Bumble.
Online Dating Apps
This makes it a great choice for people who live in less populated cities.
How To Use Bumble For Serious Relationships
Best For Lower Populated Cities
Since Bumble uses the endless swiping and the short profile method, it can be a little harder to filter out the fluff and find someone that is serious. This is why I only suggest using Bumble if you live in a smaller city (less populated) or have tried some of the other options on this list and had no luck.
Related: How To Write A Good Online Dating Profile: The Do’s And Don’ts
Best App For Endless Options
Bumble works in your favor in terms of numbers. There are many, many people on it and if you keep swiping and talking to people, you are bound to find someone.
The only problem with this is that it can get time-consuming really quickly, so use this one with some caution. As a dating coach, the biggest reason why people are single is that they get too tired of online dating and they give up. Pushing it aside year after year. Bumble has the potential to make you feel that “dating fatigue” much faster.
#1- Hinge
Summary Of Hinge
We made it to number one! Hinge is the absolute best dating app for relationships because it was specifically built with that in mind. The CEO and founder of Hinge has stated that he wanted Hinge to be like the serious relationship version of dating apps. Much like Match was for serious relationships and Plenty Of Fish was for casual relationships, he wanted it to be the opposite of apps like Tinder and Bumble.
Years later, Hinge has taken off and is becoming one of the most popular dating apps out there. It definitely tops the list for best dating apps for relationships.
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Related: How To Delete Tinder Permanently And Get On With Your Life
How To Use Hinge For Serious Relationships
Doesn’t Rely on Swiping
Hinge doesn’t use the swiping model, and instead you can interact directly with people’s profiles. You can send them a like on their photo, or answer one of their many “prompts”. The prompts are conversation starters that encourage people to connect on a deeper level rather than just starting things with a “hey, what’s up” like you might get on Tinder or Bumble.
Gaining In Popularity
Although traditional sites like OkCupid and Match still have millions of users, the the growing trend for dating is gravitating towards phone apps. Since phone apps have had the culture of quick swiping/hookups, Hinge is actively trying to change that. They are trying to mesh the convenience of the phone app with more serious dating. Bcause of this, it has really taken off in the past few years and I can see it continue to gain popularity as the years go by.
How To Find Serious Relationships Using Dating Apps
The hardest part about dating online is that it is time consuming and emotionally draining.
The best way to increase your chances of success is to make sure you’re doing everything you can to attract high-quality matches. If you need help with this, check out my Free Guide: “How To Attract Higher-Quality Men” by clicking here.
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Conclusion
Thanks for checking out my list on the best dating apps for relationships. If you need help with getting better at online dating, feel free to check out these related posts:
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